CNN’s Sara Sidner on Her Return to the Anchor Desk — and Why ‘I Thank Cancer’ (Exclusive)

Two days aft she returned to nan anchor table pursuing bosom reconstruction surgery, Sara Sidner flubbed nan sanction of a leader connected nan aerial — a sanction she knew but mispronounced successful nan moment.

In nan past, that benignant of mini correction would torment her for nan remainder of nan day.

This time, however, “I put it to nan side,” Sidner tells PEOPLE successful this week's issue. “I effort not to freak retired astir small things I utilized to ruminate over. It isn’t worthy my wellness to accent myself out. You’ve sewage to unrecorded well.”

That’s 1 of nan valuable lessons nan seasoned journalist learned since being diagnosed pinch bosom crab astir 2 years ago. “It sounds wrong, but I convey crab because it changed me,” says Sidner, 53, who returned arsenic cohost of CNN News Central on Sept. 22, aft much than 2 months away. “I was ne'er bully astatine self-care. Now I conflict to return attraction of myself.”

Sidner was successful a warfare area October 2023, covering Israel’s unfolding conflict pinch Hamas, conscionable aft she was told that her mammogram was abnormal and that she'd request a biopsy erstwhile she returned to nan U.S.

It turned retired to beryllium shape 3 bosom cancer. As she underwent 5 months of chemo, a double mastectomy and 5 weeks of radiation, Sidner continued to activity connected aerial done her treatment. She saw herself arsenic thing of a worker successful her ain battle. “I was trying to beryllium to nan crab cells that they were not going to hit me,” she says. “It was like, ‘I’m going to show you what I’m tin of.’ ”

And she was wished to publically chronicle it, successful overmuch nan aforesaid measurement she has told stories of conflict — and triumph — successful her astir 3 decades arsenic a reporter.

She posted videos from her infirmary furniture aft room and of radiation burns connected her chest, and precocious she showed disconnected her room drains.  "I americium incredibly backstage pinch my individual life," she says. "But I thought, 'Here is simply a chance for you to show what nan acquisition is, and possibly bring down immoderate of nan utmost worry and fearfulness that 1 feels erstwhile they are going done this.' "

She's besides opened up astir her struggles post-surgery, telling her followers successful 1 caller post, "I didn't admit nan woman successful nan mirror." The woman she saw, she explains, was "struggling pinch intelligence health. But I besides saw a woman who is tin of being resilient and wished to get done this, and to springiness myself support not to beryllium nan quintessential cleanable subsister wherever you're ever positive."

Since finishing curen past October, she’s confronted what she calls “the agelong tail of cancer": abrupt menopause, years of medication, and nan terrifying knowledge that nan illness could travel back. "This illness is very sneaky," she says. "I person met plentifulness of survivors whose crab has returned. That is simply a dense point to person sitting successful nan backmost of your mind."

At first, that thought prompted her to propulsion herself into each effort to support crab astatine bay. But she ended up exhausted: "You can't dainty it for illustration a sprint. And you can't moreover dainty it for illustration a marathon because location is nary decorativeness line. There's nary end. And erstwhile that starts to dawn connected you, nan intelligence toll of that is hard."

Sidner says that successful immoderate ways, life aft curen has been harder than she expected. “I americium amended successful a crisis," she explained. "The quiet clip leaves maine successful a authorities of sometimes panic, sometimes distress and tears.”

But “looking astatine it successful a constructive way” has helped.  "If I let myself to kvetch complete each azygous point that has happened since my test almost 2 years ago, I will curl into nan shot and ne'er function," she says. "I person to look astatine this arsenic crab gave maine much than it took away. Because I americium a different personification and understand nan preciousness of this life successful a measurement I could ne'er person understood earlier diagnosis."

Her ain challenges person besides fixed her a deeper knowing of her work. "You request to really see what it feels for illustration connected nan different extremity of nan camera," she says. "The measurement successful which you inquire questions is important. Bring compassion, bring empathy, bring understanding, bring genuine curiosity to nan array each azygous time, nary matter who you're talking to. We must inquire questions that are difficult to answer, but we don’t person to beryllium a------- astir it."

And facing an existential threat for illustration crab has offered her individual position arsenic well: “I’ve thought a batch astir really to unrecorded truthful erstwhile your clip is up, you tin say, ‘I’ve lived my astir authentic, beautiful life.’ ”

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