Dear Abby: How do I cut off a friend who shows no interest in my life?

DEAR ABBY: I person a casual acquaintance, “Stacy,” who agelong agone moved to a different portion of nan state and sends maine a connection each mates of months. She’s not a friend I would ever deliberation to sojourn aliases moreover telephone connected nan phone, and she apparently feels nan same.

Stacy writes that she “wants to support successful touch,” yet her messages incorporate thing much than a greeting followed by a perfunctory response, for illustration “been busy,” erstwhile I inquire what she’s been up to.

I utilized to connection specifications astir work, my hobbies, my spouse and wherever I’ve traveled connected vacations, without acknowledgment aliases reciprocation connected her part. Now, I nary longer fuss offering her immoderate details. Frankly, I don’t spot this arsenic keeping successful touch astatine all. Would it beryllium rude, aft each these years, to extremity penning her back? — FLUMMOXED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FLUMMOXED: No, it would not beryllium rude. It appears Stacy sends retired broad messages successful an effort to “keep her contacts warm,” but she isn’t sincere capable to show a individual liking successful nan recipients. You are not required to respond to her messages.

DEAR ABBY: I emotion my relative “Carly” for illustration a sister. We travel from a ample family, and some of america are estranged from our mothers (who are sisters) arsenic good arsenic our siblings. We’re OK pinch this because we person nary room for toxic group successful our lives.

Recently, Carly has fallen connected difficult times — a bitter divorcement and a grounded business. She mislaid 1 boy successful a unspeakable mishap and nan different to narcotics and alcohol. Her girl has sided pinch her dada and seldom speaks to Carly. When she does interaction her mom, she is unkind and rude. I deliberation that since Carly nary longer has money to walk connected her, nan woman is kicking her mom while she’s down.

Carly is heartbroken, depressed and struggling pinch nan “why me?” of each of this. If I had nan funds, I’d thief her pinch immoderate she needed to woody pinch her ineligible woes, but these are reliable times for everyone. I effort to cheque successful connected her regular via matter (we unrecorded successful abstracted cities) and springiness her strategies to woody pinch her failing business and each nan clean-up — financial and affectional — that comes pinch letting spell of her dream of owning her ain shop.

I interest astir Carly because she has nary 1 different than me. All nan fair-weather friends who hung astir her business are gone, and her kids and grandkids person floated away. What proposal tin I springiness her? — LOVING COUSIN IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR COUSIN: From what you person written, you person fixed Carly astir arsenic overmuch affectional support arsenic you can. If you tin negociate to schedule immoderate in-person, one-on-one clip pinch Carly, it mightiness assistance her spirits. However, location whitethorn beryllium 1 much point you tin give: Hope. Remind your relative that erstwhile 1 doorway closes, different whitethorn open, and erstwhile it does, she will beryllium capable to use each nan lessons she has learned truthful far.

As to “why me?” — setbacks hap to everyone astatine 1 clip aliases another. The instrumentality is to study from our mistakes truthful we don’t repetition them.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.