Dear Abby: I know my sister is stealing from me, but she won’t admit it

DEAR ABBY: I’m having a problem pinch my sister, who visits maine connected nan mean of erstwhile a month. She lives 4 hours away. Her friend and her hubby travel her. They are my only company. I utilized to bask them but nary longer. After their visits, worldly is ever missing from my location — a hairbrush, my dog’s electrical nail file, random dishes and plates, rat traps, laundry detergent packets, dollar shop trade items, etc.

Abby, I hid nan laundry detergent packets, but she recovered them, and I knew she took them. When I confronted her, she angrily denied it and insisted I was accusing her of things she ne'er did and would ne'er do. When I told her astir nan beads, she said she ne'er saw them and didn’t cognize what I was talking about.

After that, I didn’t spot her for astir 3 months. We made up, and she did it again! Her hubby knows. I group a trap for her friend previously, and she didn’t bargain anything. My sister was bringing her soiled laundry pinch her to lavation astatine my location successful bid to prevention connected her h2o and electrical bill. I put a extremity to that. What tin I do astir her? — DISAPPEARING ACT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR DISAPPEARING ACT: Assuming that nan friend who ever accompanies your sister during those visits is successful nan clear, that leaves only “Sissy.” Has she ever been light-fingered, aliases is her pilfering thing recent? If it is recent, talk pinch her hubby and show him you are worried astir her.

Suggest she beryllium neurologically examined by her expert for signs of dementia aliases immoderate different brain-related illness. If she checks out, location is different information called kleptomania, successful which sufferers cannot defy nan impulse to steal. It is fixable only if they are consenting to admit location is simply a problem and determine to do thing astir it.

DEAR ABBY: My hubby and I are successful a quandary. Our 12-year-old granddaughter celebrated her day earlier this year. It was a large celebration. Her different grandparents gave her a prime of $100 aliases an overnight enactment astatine a edifice pinch a pool. She chose nan overnight. It has been respective months now, pinch nary edifice enactment scheduled. Her different grands unrecorded full, engaged and chaotic lives. Our granddaughter told maine she feels hurt, disappointed and a spot angry. We had a bully talk, and I consciousness she now amended understands really adults sometimes hide really quickly clip passes.

In nan meantime, my hubby and I would for illustration to gaffe a $100 measure nether her pillow and possibly assuage her feelings toward her different grandparents. We request to cognize if that would beryllium a wise point to do aliases if we should fto it be. We understand it isn’t our problem, but it hurts our hearts to spot her fto down aft patiently waiting for her day present. What do you suggest? — GRANDMA KNOWS BEST

DEAR GRANDMA: You are beautiful people, and I understand your impulse to screen for nan different grandparents. That said, I do not deliberation you should do it. Your granddaughter is rightfully disappointed, but she needs to study that sometimes folks don’t travel done connected their promises. If she does, it whitethorn travel arsenic little of a jolt erstwhile she’s a small older.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.