Dear Abby: My uncle’s comment in our group chat has torn the whole family apart

DEAR ABBY: A fewer years ago, my uncle made a arguable remark astir a societal rumor successful my mom’s family group text. The rumor was important capable to my sister that she requested chat astir it cease because she didn’t work together pinch what they were saying. When nan chat continued, she decided to trim Mom’s family retired of her life, taking a cue from my brother-in-law, who had made a akin determination astir his ain family.

My woman and I bought a location and decided to propulsion our first statement there, inviting some sides of my family. My sister still refuses to beryllium anyplace adjacent Mom’s family. She said she wouldn’t beryllium coming, moreover though I besides invited Dad’s family, pinch whom she gets on well.

Although my governmental and societal views align pinch my sister’s, I americium besides family-oriented, truthful this has been reliable connected maine and my parents. I’m sad that Mom’s family whitethorn ne'er spot my sister again because 1 aliases 2 bad apples spoiled nan tube for her. I wish this could beryllium resolved earlier it’s excessively late. Do you deliberation that’s possible? — FAMILY-ORIENTED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FAMILY-ORIENTED: I don’t cognize why nan violative speech didn’t extremity erstwhile your sister asked. Clearly, nan comments your uncle made were truthful profoundly violative to her that she nary longer wishes to person immoderate interaction pinch him. Is this “fixable”? Only if 1 of them is consenting to give, and from what you person written, that doesn’t look likely. From now on, if you want a family gathering, beryllium prepared to big 1 without Sis.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a man who has worked for a ample institution for galore years. I precocious became acquainted pinch a recently hired female who is beautiful, smart, funny and compassionate. We talk almost daily, and I’m becoming romantically willing successful her. From her behavior, she whitethorn consciousness similarly. I’d for illustration to return things to nan adjacent level by inviting her to lunch.

There is 1 awesome issue: I’m successful my mid-50s; she’s successful her early 20s. I’m not judge if she’s alert of nan ample property difference, but I’m judge she realizes I’m considerably older. If we do determine to prosecute a relationship, I cognize location will beryllium comments and jokes from our co-workers, which I tin woody with, but is simply a narration wise considering our property difference? I person ne'er been willing successful a female this young before. She is typical to me. People opportunity property is conscionable a number. Is it? — OLD ROMANTIC FOOL

DEAR OLD ROMANTIC: I americium little concerned astir nan quality successful your ages arsenic I americium nan number of years you person been astatine your occupation and whether location whitethorn beryllium an “imbalance of power” betwixt yourself and nan caller hire. If location is simply a argumentation against fraternization successful your workplace, your occupation aliases hers could beryllium astatine risk. If location isn’t, past it wouldn’t beryllium retired of statement to induce nan young female to lunch. If thing bothers her astir nan property quality (IF nan narration progresses), I’m judge it will travel to light.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.