Billie Sky has conscionable helped her squad to promotion but now she cannot play for them again.
Sky is 1 of 28 transgender women registered pinch nan Football Association to play amateur shot successful England who are banned from playing FA-affiliated women's football.
Following nan UK Supreme Court's ruling connected 16 April that nan ineligible meaning of a female is based connected biologic sex, nan English football's governing assemblage said that from 1 June only those calved biologically female will beryllium permitted to play women's shot astatine each levels.
The ruling has forced Sky to extremity playing competitory 11-a-side shot for 1 of her teams, London Galaxy. She will still beryllium capable to play informally for her different - Goal Diggers FC - arsenic nan nine has withdrawn from each FA-affiliated leagues successful consequence to nan caller policy.
"I conscionable took portion successful a play pinch London Galaxy and helped them gain promotion," she told BBC Sport. "Now I can't play pinch them, which is really sad. I put a batch of committedness into that club.
"What americium I expected to do? Go and play pinch nan men? Because I don't consciousness safe playing there. And each of my team-mates want maine here."
BBC Sport approached a number of grassroots footballers who support nan ban.
Most did not want to spell connected grounds pinch their opinions because of a fearfulness of reprisals, but 1 footballer, who plays successful nan sixth tier of nan women's game, was consenting to speak anonymously.
Georgie (not her existent name) believes nan FA's caller argumentation "protects nan integrity of women's shot that we person fought for truthful agelong to attain".
The issues astir nan argumentation person been described by nan FA arsenic a "complex subject" and wider debates person centred connected inclusion, sporting fairness and information successful women's sport.
When avid shot instrumentality Sky first transitioned, she had fixed up connected nan thought of sport, but that changed erstwhile she was encouraged to subordinate Goal Diggers FC, an inclusive nine based successful London.
"I deliberation I had nan first moments of my life wherever I wasn't reasoning astir nan truth that I'm trans aliases different aliases weird aliases something. I conscionable felt for illustration different personification here," nan 28-year-old said.
"It was a organization that I recovered and I loved it. And since past it's been my life. My personality is very overmuch 1 of football."
Sky, who came retired arsenic transgender 4 years ago, said she "had a feeling" nan prohibition was coming.
"It does consciousness scary," she said. "It feels for illustration a small spot of my information nett has conscionable been taken away.
"I felt for illustration there's this existent empowering quality to shot for me, arsenic I've go much assured connected nan pitch, I've go much assured arsenic a person. And I consciousness for illustration losing immoderate of that opportunity to proceed that storyline."
The FA has written to transgender players facing a ban, offering "online talking therapy" aliases support successful taking different way successful women's football, specified arsenic refereeing aliases coaching. Sky has declined nan offer.
"I conjecture I could spell into coaching aliases refereeing, but that's not what nan emotion of nan crippled is for me," said Sky, who is simply a schematic designer. "It's being retired location connected nan pitch, connecting pinch people, giving 100% until nan past minute.
"Sometimes I wonderment if I should conscionable time off nan country. I've lived successful London my full life. I emotion this metropolis successful truthful galore ways, but I consciousness for illustration it doesn't want maine here."
Georgie started playing shot erstwhile she was 5 and grew up astir nan game, pinch her 2 brothers and uncle heavy progressive successful nan sport.
"When I heard astir nan FA's decision, it gave maine a heavy consciousness of reassurance," she said.
"I was happy that thing was being done to protect nan integrity of nan women's game, a abstraction that intends truthful overmuch to maine and truthful galore different women and girls.
"This isn't astir excluding anyone. It's astir recognising nan value of fairness and information successful sport."
Georgie, who is successful her early 20s, says her position is profoundly rooted successful nan scientific research that suggests nan physiological differences established during antheral puberty create advantages that cannot beryllium afloat reversed pinch hormone therapy.
There is constricted investigation into what effect transitioning tin person connected an jock - because location are truthful fewer transgender athletes. However, studies are presently nether way.
Georgie besides told BBC Sport that her opinions are shared by nan remainder of her squad and person been shaped by their experiences.
"One of nan teams we faced included 2 transgender women. I've seen first-hand really nan beingness differences played retired connected nan pitch," she said.
"This isn't thing we spot week in, week retired successful nan women's game... None of america had consented to beryllium portion of that benignant of match-up, and yet we were put successful that position.
"What's worse is that erstwhile we effort to speak up, we're told not to. As captain, my coach made it clear that saying thing to nan lucifer officials aliases to nan FA - moreover politely - would apt consequence successful punishment. That fearfulness of retribution silences truthful galore of us."
On11 April nan FA updated its rules to let trans women - who are biologically antheral - to proceed to play successful women's shot nether stricter criteria earlier changing its argumentation a fewer days later aft nan Supreme Court ruling.
Georgie said she hoped "we tin proceed to activity towards creating spaces wrong shot wherever transgender women tin participate successful a measurement that's safe, fair, and respected".