How Living in New York City on 9/11 Led to My New Thriller“ The Gallery Assistant ”(Exclusive)

The skyline of my metropolis was everlastingly altered.

That was what I kept reasoning nan evening of Sept. 11, 2001, aft I’d yet made my measurement location to Brooklyn from my occupation successful Manhattan, done a metropolis that abruptly felt for illustration a warfare zone. My roommate had spent each time successful our acheronian apartment, watching nan news and manning our landline arsenic our friends and relatives called and checked in, including my small brother, a student astatine NYU whose dorm was adjacent nan World Trade Center.

By that night, we knew everyone we loved was safe and settled and it seemed nary different attacks would happen, truthful we did what overmuch of nan metropolis did: we went to a bar. The upwind extracurricular was beautiful, though moreover from crossed nan stream you could smell nan acrid fume from nan fires and nan musty, choking scent of ash, pitchy substance and debris from nan illness of nan towers. We chose a patio array anyway, and divided a vessel of achromatic wine. It felt bully to beryllium extracurricular aft nan long, devastating day. And it felt really bully to beryllium astir different people.

I had seen grounds of this communal request to stitchery earlier successful nan time erstwhile I’d near nan Upper East Side creation assemblage wherever I worked. At 1 point, I’d gotten connected a autobus going downtown that was truthful packed it listed to 1 side; nan driver conscionable kept gesturing for much and much group to climb on. She took america arsenic acold downtown arsenic she could, which was 28th Street. No postulation was allowed past that point, truthful I headed southbound connected ft different 10 blocks to my regular subway stop, hoping it was still running. I walked by soldiers successful camouflage guarding this perimeter pinch what looked for illustration elephantine automatic weapons.

And — this is everlastingly engraved successful my representation — each azygous bar, edifice and café I passed was packed. Every array jammed, each spot taken. I understood successful that instant why nan nighttime life successful Paris during World War II was truthful famed: group needed to beryllium to themselves that they were still alive.

As a young personification successful my twenties surviving successful New York connected that day, I was already swimming successful a quagmire of uncertainty. I’d travel to nan metropolis to make my dreams travel true, which meant going to postgraduate schoolhouse and earning a PhD successful Art History. Like nan characters connected Friends (which I watched religiously connected Thursday nights), my ain friends and I were successful nan midst of navigating adulthood, trying to build our careers, and hoping to find love; successful short, we were having emblematic 20-something experiences. And past suddenly, we were doing each that successful a metropolis that felt for illustration it was holding its corporate breath, that was waiting for nan different footwear to drop, for nan adjacent level to autumn retired of nan sky.   

Everyone successful my societal group responded to nan situation differently, but it was a pendulum of extremes. People collapsed up aliases sewage married, abruptly discontinue jobs aliases threw each their money into an obscure commencement up, moved location to their parents aliases bought existent property successful nan city, sewage political, sewage tattoos aliases sewage successful shape. And beautiful overmuch everyone drank to excess. I erstwhile told a therapist I thought I had PTSD because of nan attacks connected 9/11. He responded, very kindly, “The full state has PTSD.”

I chose to double down connected my city, moreover though it looked different. I leaned into my personality arsenic a New Yorker and stayed for different 13 years. For astir of those, I couldn’t ideate surviving anyplace else; I was judge I’d beryllium a New Yorker for life. But conscionable arsenic I’d been successful nan wont of looking for nan towers whenever I emerged from a subway position successful Manhattan (it was an contiguous measurement to orient oneself), yet I stopped. There came a time, overmuch to my astonishment, erstwhile I was fresh to time off nan city. Many of my friends had already gone. People had kids, sewage divorced, moved to nan suburbs, relocated to nan West Coast, settled into careers they loved, abandoned jobs they hated and recovered their existent passion successful life.

We each get utilized to changes, to altered skylines. There’s only 1 guidance life goes, and that is forward. But surviving done that moment, successful that city, astatine that clip of my life, near a people and nan ethos of it each still lingers. The dislocation, nan measurement conspiracy theories were passed astir for illustration notes successful school, nan jittery emotion of wanting to drawback life pinch some hands and ne'er fto go, has ne'er faded from my memory.

Over 20 years later, I wanted to research that clip of corporate upheaval successful New York City successful precocious 2001. In my caller thriller The Gallery Assistant, a female creator slated to beryllium shown by nan assemblage wherever my protagonist, Chloe, works, is recovered murdered successful her loft nan greeting aft a party. As it turns out, Chloe was nan past personification to leave, but owed to her PTSD-induced representation lapses, she doesn’t retrieve overmuch of nan evening, including really she sewage home. As different seemingly unconnected incidents commencement to hap astir her (one friend goes missing, different is attacked), conspiracies are everyplace and Chloe must effort to abstracted truth from fabrication while fearing for her life. 

For me, New York City was a spot of maturation and wonderment and heartache and joyousness arsenic I grew into adulthood. I loved revisiting that era, and trying to recreate that clip successful someone’s life successful this book. I’ve lived successful a batch of places, but for obscurity arsenic long, and successful nary spot I’ve loved arsenic fiercely arsenic New York City. I’ve travel to a spot successful life wherever I’ve realized I person a batch of homes, and New York is 1 of them. It some is and isn’t nan metropolis I left, and that’s ok. I’ve besides changed, mostly (I hope) for nan better. I loved revisiting nan metropolis I knew successful 2001 and crafting Chloe’s communicative from my clip there, reflecting backmost connected nan personification I was, and really that young female informed nan personification I’ve become.

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The Gallery Assistant by Kate Belli is disposable now, wherever books are sold.