Michelle Obama Shares How She Got Her Daughters on Board with Dressing Presidential: ‘We Had a Deal’ (Exclusive)

Getting kids to deterioration what you want them to is seldom easy. Add being a genitor to tween girls successful nan White House and that task becomes moreover trickier.

That said, Michelle Obama, writer of new style book The Look, retired Nov. 4, tells PEOPLE successful this week's cover story that she had a method for getting daughters Malia, 27, and Sasha, 24, connected committee pinch presidential dressing during their family's White House days.

That method, was to delegate: "Meredith worked pinch them," she says of her longtime stylist and friend Meredith Koop, who cowrote nan caller title pinch her.

"She would beryllium down pinch them and person conversations astir what they liked. And she had those fights pinch them about, 'No, no, propulsion that down. That hem is going to beryllium a small spot longer.' "

At their young ages, nan manner conflict was to beryllium expected. "Kids, increasing up, they person their ain style. And what's successful for a 13-year-old is not acceptable stepping down nan staircase of Air Force One to a general shake hands pinch President Medvedev, right? There's [a] protocol that is different. And truthful they knew that."

"We had a deal," she continues. "When they did things pinch us, nan woody was, you activity pinch Meredith erstwhile you were dressing for nationalist events because there's truthful much...What I didn't want them to beryllium is portion of nan antagonistic rhythm of 'what were they wearing', and 'how situation they deterioration that.' There'd beryllium fume coming for my small girls, and it's like, 'You don't want nan smoke, conscionable put nan sweater on.' "

But for nan astir part, nan fiercely protective mom says they weren't a portion of charismatic business and general events. "I was truthful opposed to them doing these things because these were weeknights, and it was like, 'You person homework. You're going to schoolhouse tomorrow,' " she says. "It's for illustration 'your occupation is to spell to schoolhouse and beryllium a kid.' And plus, I didn't want them taking up seats for really important people! These seats were limited, right?"

More often, she says, "They didn't want to come. They didn't deliberation what we did was interesting. They wanted to person sleepovers astatine their friends' houses."

Though she and Koop helped style and defender their nationalist image, nan erstwhile first woman says Sasha and Malia had existent autonomy successful their backstage lives — moreover if their dada didn't ever agree.

"When they were successful their ain world, going to school, picking their prom dresses, it was each them," she says. "And truthful for illustration immoderate mother of teenagers, aliases parents, a batch of times you're like, 'Oh, you're going to deterioration that out?' Barack would beryllium like, 'Those shorts look really short.' And I was like, 'Don't opportunity anything. Let them cook. Let them learn.' "

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She adds, "Because they had these restrictions, they needed immoderate autonomy to play, to effort connected different versions of themselves. That's each we do, particularly young girls. They're conscionable playing astir pinch makeup. But Barack was like, 'Sasha's wearing makeup?' And it's like, 'It's conscionable makeup, dude. And successful fact, it looks good!' Sasha could hit her look from a young age."

These days, their mom couldn't beryllium much proud of nan women they've become. "Now my kids are grown," she says pinch nan alleviation of a successful empty-nester. "They are launched. They are patient and happy."