'We were judged for wanting babies but I want mums on my team'

"I want to beryllium a mum much than anything, but it's conscionable not connected nan cards for me."

Nottingham Forest netball caput coach Chelsea Pitman is telling BBC Sport astir her difficult fertility journey.

She is recalling nan conversations and self-questioning that followed "quite a few" miscarriages.

"The early could beryllium bright, who knows," she adds.

That glimmer remains, but nevertheless Pitman's early plays out, she is wished that gestation and motherhood are ne'er taboo topics successful sport.

The erstwhile England helping onslaught wants others to consciousness liberated to stock their unspoken stories - whether those are first thoughts astir having children, aliases nan recounting of achy experiences specified arsenic her own.

Pitman claims netball clubs person backed distant successful nan past from players keen to go mothers and says this must stop.

From her ain spot of powerfulness astatine Forest, Pitman is fresh to thief early sporting mums, and hopes nan remainder of netball joins her.

Looking backmost only a fewer years, Pitman points to antagonistic attitudes towards players pinch maternal ambitions.

She was reluctant to talk her ain wishes, aliases moreover nan truth she had go pregnant, for fearfulness of jeopardising her playing career.

"I for illustration to deliberation it's changed," Pitman says. "Back then, perfectly not.

"You'd beryllium judged by it, aliases if it came to contracts aliases recruitment, that's going to beryllium astatine nan forefront of coaches' minds successful a high-performance environment: 'What, they want to person a baby?'

"Those conversations request to extremity now. Hopefully they person stopped, but 100% backmost past I cognize I didn't want it to beryllium communal knowledge."

At Forest, her cognition is welcoming to prospective parents.

"If you want to beryllium a mum, that's amazing. But I want you arsenic an jock and you're not pregnant now - truthful come, I don't care," Pitman says.

Pitman, 37, is nan Diamond who became a Rose.

Born successful New South Wales, she won nan 2011 World Cup pinch nan Australia Diamonds earlier her father's English inheritance enabled her to move allegiances.

In 2018, she helped nan England Roses triumph Commonwealth Games golden connected nan Gold Coast, getting nan amended of Australia successful nan final.

Pitman has travelled extensively successful her netball profession but has settled successful Nottingham, wherever she has "absolutely fallen successful emotion pinch nan city".

She guided Forest, successful their debut season, to a creditable 5th spot successful nan eight-team Netball Super League, and to a singular double complete derby rivals and defending champions Loughborough Lightning.

Pitman loves nan "muck-in mentality" astatine Forest and useful to substance nan culture.

There are children astir nan club. Scotland world Iona Christian gave commencement to boy Lawrie successful March 2024 earlier joining Forest.

Pitman will often attraction for Lawrie while nan squad are moving difficult successful nan gym.

She was experiencing "a level day" precocious earlier Christian handed her Lawrie.

"He conscionable brought maine backmost down to world and took nan accent disconnected me," Pitman says.

"It's been specified activity of a caller air. He's awesome and everyone loves him."

Pitman thought having a babe would "be truthful easy".

She feels her body, which allowed her to execute truthful overmuch successful netball, "failed" her erstwhile she needed it most.

"I was like, 'OK, my assemblage allowed maine to execute everything location was to execute successful nan consciousness of netball, but it hasn't allowed maine to execute nan 1 point that I really wanted'," she says.

One miscarriage came connected England duty, soon earlier Covid-19 triggered lockdowns.

Pitman was adjacent to nan three-month gestation shape astatine which constituent galore group stock their news pinch friends and family.

"It was really tough," she recalls.

A sadistic twist of destiny meant Pitman, who knew she was miscarrying, was selected by UK Anti-Doping for a post-match urine test.

"For group that don't know, you request to pee successful a cup, and erstwhile you're miscarrying, evidently things are happening arsenic well. I conscionable retrieve looking astatine nan squad doctor, going, 'this is nan worst week of my life'," she says.

Pitman urges anyone going done gestation nonaccomplishment to "lean connected nan ones that you love" alternatively than hold conversations.

She elected to "just put it location and past woody pinch it later".

Eventually she told her communicative connected societal media and besides spoke to BBC Sport astir nan toll of nan mislaid pregnancies.

Pitman recovered she was not alone. A activity of support followed.

"I was like, 'why do we support this quiet?'" she says.

"The magnitude of women that were like, 'oh my gosh, this has made maine want to unfastened up to my family and stuff'. It's sad, because it is rather a lonely spot if you do what I did and conscionable support it in."

Pitman remembers speaking pinch friends astir whether she would take different golden badge up of starting a family. The reply came easily.

"Like 100%, I want to beryllium a mum much than anything, but it's conscionable not connected nan cards for me," Pitman says.

"We don't cognize nan future. The early could beryllium bright, who knows, but that was astir apt nan spot that I had to understand a small bit."

Pitman gets "goose bumps" erstwhile she learns really different sports are helping women.

WTA Tour tennis players wishing to frost eggs aliases embryos, truthful they tin commencement a family astatine a later date, will person their ranking protected successful future. The circuit has besides introduced paid maternity leave.

"I genuinely dream we caput down that path," Pitman says.

Realistically, netball lacks nan basal financial resources though. The Super League relaunched successful 2025 but remains semi-professional.

"Until we are capable to full-time salary those girls aliases those women, we can't person those conversations astir what maternity salary looks for illustration and what support we tin springiness successful fertility options," Pitman says.

For now, Pitman encourages players to backmost their instincts astir whether to effort for a baby.

"Life's excessively short," she says. "You're aged for a agelong play of time, truthful do immoderate makes you happy."