Woman Finds Out Fiancé Gave Majority of Their Emergency Fund to His Struggling Sister

A female is second-guessing creating a associated relationship pinch her fiancé aft he took retired astir of nan money from their emergency fund.

On Reddit, nan 24-year-old shares that she and her 28-year-old fiancé person lived together for almost 2 years and person been engaged for 7 months. They've saved up astir $6,000 successful an emergency money for things for illustration "car repairs, aesculapian emergencies, aliases if 1 of america mislaid our job." 

However, past week, her fiancé's sister called him and he became noticeably upset. In nan morning, she noticed $5,000 was missing from their shared account. 

"He transferred it to her without saying thing to maine first, and past told maine complete coffee, each casual like, 'I knew you'd understand,'" nan female writes.

The poster "freaked out" knowing they had important expenses coming up, specified arsenic caller brakes for their car, security and a rent increase. However, he said she was being "unsupportive," and "that successful marriage, you're expected to 'share everything.' " 

She responded by noting that "sharing doesn't mean making a immense decision" without consulting her first. So, she group up a fewer caller crushed rules.

"I asked for: 1) america some to work together connected immoderate transfers aliases purchases complete £200 from now on, 2) a written repayment scheme pinch his sister, 3) america each having abstracted day-to-day accounts positive a associated 1 for bills, and 4) a postnup earlier we group a wedding date," she writes.

"He reckons that's retired of bid and I'm 'punishing him for helping,' and he won't inquire his sister to salary it backmost because she's 'going done it,'" she continues. "His mum moreover sewage progressive and said I was being melodramatic and that this is conscionable what family does for each other."

Since then, nan poster has halted her wedding readying and moved her wages into her individual account. 

"Am I overreacting? Is asking for a postnuptial statement (postnup) normal aft thing for illustration this? How would you batch grip family loans successful a marriage? Would you move guardant pinch nan wedding aliases clasp off?" she asks. "Genuinely aft immoderate honorable feedback, moreover if it's not what I want to hear."

Commenters were speedy to constituent retired that nan female should reconsider her finances and being pinch her fiancé successful general.

"A prenup (since you're not yet married) is really only useful if you person a number of assets earlier matrimony that you want to support separated from marital assets. You don't sound for illustration you request that," 1 personification wrote. "What you do request is simply a partner who doesn't make ample financial decisions without consulting you first.

"This is astir much than money. Why does he deliberation his needs and his family's needs travel earlier your needs arsenic a couple. You're smart to abstracted your money," they continued. "Frankly, I don't deliberation group who aren't joined should stock accounts anyway. You are smart to besides postpone nan wedding and return a adjacent look astatine nan dynamics of your relationship. Especially concerning is him having his mother instrumentality her chemoreceptor successful your individual finances."

Another personification added, "You request to deliberation very cautiously astir this. What's concerning is that your fiancé thinks taking a immense chunk of money retired of your shared relationship and giving it to his sister without consulting you is nary large deal. It is nan reddest of reddish flags."